


the silence beneath your skin

by finkpishnets



Category: X Factor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-27
Updated: 2010-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-28 13:12:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/308218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finkpishnets/pseuds/finkpishnets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt has magic at his fingertips, too many thoughts in his head, and an inability to speak. Aiden just makes things worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the silence beneath your skin

**Author's Note:**

> For the hs_bingo prompt ‘exchange student’. This is kind of weird? And by ‘kind of’ I mean ‘very’. I apparently decided to create a world in my head this afternoon and this is what happened. Magic and psychic empathy and connecting to human thought abounds.

The bell rings, once, twice, three times, and there’s a pause before everyone rushes into the hall, the wooden doors leading outside flung open and the scent of summer nights already clinging to stone walls. The moon’s sharp in the sky, not quite full, and the stars pierce through the branches of the trees. They don’t have to be quiet out here, locked in their own world beneath the mountains, and the privacy’s nice, safe, if not a little stifling.

Matt drops his satchel carelessly on the ground and stretches out in the grass, fingers brushing over the earth and feeling the way it pulses through his skin. He can pick up conversations, tunes in to some and out of others, cataloguing every presence on instinct, and it’s only when he hears Louis’ laugh inside his head that he sits up.

“Evening,” Louis says as he approaches, his boys just behind him, and Matt smiles but doesn’t respond. Nobody expects him to.

The night wastes away amidst stories and silence until it’s time for breakfast and bed, and Matt kicks at his sheets sleepily, magic jumping lazily between his fingertips as he falls asleep, already exhausted and the full term still ahead.

 

+

 

“There’s a new exchange student,” Treyc Cohen whispers to Rebecca Ferguson, and though the whole classroom’s between them Matt picks up on the words easily. Ms. Minogue hears them too, turns around to give Treyc a disappointed glance before distributing their reading assignments, and Matt pretends the news is irrelevant.

It never is.

Liam catches up with him between classes, too many books balanced under his arms but at least they’ll never fall. He smiles gently at Matt as he matches him stride for stride.

“It’s a guy,” Liam says, and Matt thinks maybe he knows him too well. That could be a problem one day. “And he’s younger than you so the chances of running into each other aren’t great.”

Matt nods but the unease starting to twist through his chest isn’t easy to ignore; it’s not that simple and Liam knows it, but Matt appreciates the lie regardless.

“I’ll see you later,” Liam says, hand brushing gently over the folds of Matt’s jacket as he walks away, and Matt wonders not for the first time if maybe he’s missing something there. He shakes it off; nothing good comes of thinking about it anyway.

 

+

 

It’s not hard for Matt to avoid crowds; he knows when the quietest meal times are, when the library’s calmest, and he knows how to blend into the background.

It’s useful when you want to avoid someone, even if you don’t know who that someone is.

 

+

 

“Hi,” the boy with the strange haircut says, leaning around the corner, and Matt jumps, startled, burning his finger as his cigarette slips to the ground. “Shit, sorry.”

Matt blinks, searches the thoughts in the surrounding space and closes his eyes tightly when he can’t place them. So much for avoidance.

The boy (who can only be the exchange student) is wearing a too-big cardigan even though it’s summer, and his shoulders hunch slightly as he moves closer. Matt takes an automatic step back and flinches when the boy frowns like he’s unsure what he’s done wrong.

“You’re Louis’ friend, right?” the boys says eventually, wrapping his arms around himself, and Matt blinks, cursing Louis silently inside his head.

He nods anyway; it’s easier than lying.

“I’m Aiden,” the boy says, tilting his head to the side and scuffing his boot against the gravel, and Matt can only nod again.

The silence stretches between them for too long and Matt watches fascinated as Aiden’s cheeks slowly darken, pink spreading down his neck, and he shrinks in on himself.

“Right,” Aiden says eventually, and Matt’s not surprised when he walks away without a goodbye.

He has his own reasons for hating meeting new people but it must be tough for them too at first. _Oh well_ , he thinks as he takes out another cigarette, lighting it with a slide of his thumb; Aiden would understand eventually.

 

+

 

Louis casts him apologetic looks across the dining hall the next afternoon but Matt’s busy cramming for his first class and ignores him until Harry sends a pout his way, one Matt can see from the backs of his eyelids, and he waves his hand distractedly, a _you’re forgiven_ that Louis will be able to feel against his skin.

It’s not Louis’ fault, Matt’s problems aren’t Louis’ problems, and something nags at the back of his mind that this is what happens when you let people get close to you. He brushes it away and focuses on the pages in front of him and the hum of meaningless conversation buzzing in his ears.

Warmth spreads over his shoulders, comforting and honest and all Liam, and Matt sends him a silent _thank you_ as his muscles finally begin to relax.

 

+

 

“Sorry about before,” Aiden says, sitting down opposite him, and there’s a library table between them but it’s still closer than yesterday. Too close. Matt leans back in his chair as subtly as he can. “I didn’t realise-”

Matt waits to see if he’ll continue, stutter out apologies and questions that Matt can’t answer, but he doesn’t; he watches Matt for a moment more, eyes flickering as he takes him in, and then Aiden reaches into his bag for his own assignments.

They sit in silence and it’s the first time it feels mutual in as long as Matt can remember.

 

+

 

“You should be careful,” Liam says, frowning, and Matt nods, because he’s right, he _should_ be.

Liam has his arms wrapped tightly around himself, his satchel fit to bursting point, and he looks cautious and a little sad and Matt realises he’s trying to pretend otherwise.

He puts his hand on Liam’s shoulder, a physical intimacy he’s so rare to bestow, and Liam’s eyes widen a little in surprise, the bridge of his nose darkening in a way Matt chooses to ignore.

“Just-” Liam says, eyes fixed on Matt’s ear, “I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

Matt shrugs as if to say _what can you do?_ and Liam rolls his eyes, breaking the moment.

“Come on,” he says, “I think Louis may have made you an apology cake. By himself. I want to see the aftermath.”

 

+

 

Aiden sits next to him at meal times now, and he’s careful not to touch Matt, not to let their skin brush, but it’s still an effort for Matt to keep it at bay, to not let him inside his head.

He learnt at an early age that once he let people in losing them was like losing a piece of himself. He doesn’t often have a choice though; as he’s got older he’s learnt how to let in enough of people that he can control the magic connecting them, just enough that it’s merely a sting when the bond is severed, but some people-

Some people could kill him if they broke the ties.

There are only three people he’s ever given that much of himself to and two of them are sitting across the dining hall laughing. Louis had wormed his way into Matt’s thoughts when he was too young to know better, and the summer he’d gone away with his parents had left Matt sick with fever, the doctors unable to work out _why_. Louis had come back two weeks later, sun-browned and carrying too many tacky souvenirs, and Matt had been back to himself in seconds. Louis doesn’t go away anymore, at least not without Matt in tow, and Matt would feel bad about that except he can taste on the air between them that Louis honestly doesn’t mind.

Matt isn’t sure if Liam’s aware yet that he’s there too. Matt had been careful after Louis, had worked out exactly how much was too much, and for a long time he’d kept Liam fluttering on the edges. He hadn’t let him in completely until last year when Liam had kept him from falling apart, his magic out of control and the words ripped from his lips; it was the only thing he could do to express his thanks and one day Liam will realise that. Matt isn’t sure he’ll thank him but at least he’ll know.

The third person is the one who tore him apart shred by shred, malicious intent hidden beneath a whirlwind of emotions so great that Matt hadn’t been able to pick up on it until it was too late. Katie had come to the school for a term because her magic was too temperamental; the power and delivery changed by the day and they’d hoped that the safety and guidance of the Academy would help. She’d been full of words and thoughts and touches and she’d convinced Matt to let her in, and then, when the question of the following term had arisen, she’d laughed at the thought of staying, eyes narrowed and smile cruel as she asked what it would do to Matt, how she wished she could see the threads unravelling, how fascinating that would be.

The day she’d fled was the day Matt lost his voice, painfully and irrevocably, his body breaking apart on every breath. The teachers said he was lucky not to have lost his mind, and they’re right, Matt knows they are, but sometimes he wonders if that wouldn’t have been better.

The choice to let someone in is completely his but any touch, any physical intimacy, is enough to cloud his brain and make him _want to_.

Matt can’t tell Aiden that but he thinks he knows.

The scary part is how much Matt wants to anyway.

 

+

 

They sit in the courtyard wasting the night away, blades of grass between them, and Aiden tells him stories of home, of the family he still has, of the way his magic shifts and changes beneath his skin. Sometimes he sings, soft and nervous and beautiful and Matt curls his fingers against the pulse of the ground to stop himself reaching out.

It’s easier when the other boys join them. Louis’ known Matt long enough that he can read his expressions, read the gentle push and pull of emotions he delivers when he’s trying to be subtle, and Liam doesn’t have the same experience but he knows it anyway. Niall’s energy and Harry’s cheekiness and Zayn’s cool control give Matt something to focus on apart from the curve of Aiden’s jaw line, the shape of his mouth, and it’s a relief.

Matt thinks he can probably control it, only has to wait a little longer and Aiden will be gone and he won’t have to worry about those extra thoughts clawing at his brain.

And then Aiden says “I’m not asking for anything you know” with wide earnest eyes, his magic deliberately stilled so Matt can read the truth in his words, and Matt lets him in wholly and completely and without thought.

Aiden holds his breath, his eyes huge under the moon as he stares at Matt in disbelief, and Matt’s never let someone in like that before, so jarringly fast, and he’s dizzy with the sensation. It’s the stupidest thing he’s ever done because Aiden’s made no promises, _shouldn’t have to make promises_ , and Matt’s pushed this burden on both of them unthinkingly.

He wants to say _please don’t hate me_ but the words, as always, are lost in silence.

Aiden leans over and kisses him anyway.

 

+

 

Matt has too many thoughts in his head, feels things too strongly, but he shuts it out at the feel of Aiden’s fingers pressing into his skin, his teeth biting at his lip.

The magic in Matt’s fingertips draws shapes across Aiden’s chest, his arms, and Aiden smiles against his mouth.

He doesn’t make promises but he kisses Matt like maybe one day he will.

 

+

 

“So much for careful,” Liam says, eyeing the faint bruises on Matt’s neck with a frown, and Matt wants to be sorry be he can’t.

He tilts his head instead, draws him mouth into a half apology that he doesn’t really mean, that Liam won’t buy for a second anyway, and paints emotions into the air between them.

“Yeah,” Liam says, rolling his eyes. “I love you too. Be safe okay?”

It’s the closest thing to a blessing he’s ever going to get from Liam for all the right reasons, and it’s more than Matt expected.

 

+

 

Matt wakes up at dusk and goes to class and when the moon’s well and truly in the sky and the bell rings, once, twice, three times, he goes out to the courtyard to lie in the grass and feel the earth beneath him. His friends are his friends and they won’t leave him, not now, not ever, because they chose him as much as he chose them, and his mouth curves into the right shapes as his eyes do the laughing, and it’s an anchor he’s always going to need.

And then there’s Aiden who makes his skin itch and his heart feel secure and he kisses him and forgets that he has no voice and that the thoughts in his head are rarely his own and that the future is unpredictable.

Tomorrow he could break, but until then he closes his eyes and turns down the volume.


End file.
